Editorial: Visit the Creation Museum

Of the many interesting places we visited in September, the most interesting was the Creation Museum in northern Kentucky near Cincinnati.  My wife thinks shopping malls are equal to museums and she enjoyed this one.  As proof, she bought more stuff in the gift shop than she bought at Prime Outlets the day before.

To my knowledge there is no other museum devoted to presenting Genesis as factual history.  And why shouldn’t there be one?  Detractors say that Genesis is a myth because its assertions cannot be proved by scientific evidence.  The scientific history of our planet and the universe changes generationally based on the latest discoveries.  The scientific theories of the past are in the category of myths today, and that tends to level the playing field versus the creation story.

The Creation Museum is a wonderful presentation of Genesis.  The quality of the exhibits is on par with those in Chicago’s Museum of Natural History.  There are plenty of interactive opportunities for both children and adults.  The walk through Noah’s Ark is fascinating.  After the museum, we took a stroll through the several acres of beautiful gardens filled with plants that don’t look like they belong in this climate, but there they are.

Today a minority percentage of Americans accept Genesis as fact, so the Creation Museum invites controversy.  Probably the most controversial assertion is that dinosaurs and man coexisted.  This goes against everything archeology has discovered in the past 100 years.  But, on the fifth day God created all the fish and animals, and on the sixth day God created man, so there you are.  All creatures great and small coexisted with man.

In my small mind an obvious question popped up in the dinosaur exhibit: Why, in rock strata where dinosaur fossils are found, do we not also find human fossils as well as fossils of dogs, cats, and horses?  The question was not addressed in the exhibit, so the answer becomes one of faith.  I grew up with the Flintstones, so the Creation Museum’s answer is good enough for me.

Back From Vacation

Your humble correspondent took vacation for the month of September and is happy to be back.  Not that I think the Wiper was missed for a month, as it appears that life in Pearlville as gone on just fine without me or the paper.  I’m just glad to be back because I am not a Shopper.  My bride and I visited lots of interesting places within driving distance of Pearlville.  I like to drive but there is one downside to it: shopping malls are visible in every town.  She considers them to be cultural monuments on par with museums, particularly factory outlet malls which are revered on the same level as European cathedrals.

To me, that’s OK as long as one has a purpose.  I avoid them as much as possible, but when I have to go to the mall I am a Buyer.  I Go in, Get what I want, and Get out.  The 3 Gs are the rule for the Buyer.  But Shoppers are different.  They have no goal or if they do it’s a mystery.  Walking the mall with the wife has as much apparent purpose as walking the cat down the street.  She enters a store, meanders around for awhile, and then exits the store saying “they don’t have anything.”

The same thing repeats again and again until it’s time for lunch.  We have a sandwich in the food court.  Mine is pretty good and I finish it off in a few minutes.  She says hers is good too but she’s only half done because she’s been talking.  So I wait for her to finish her sandwich while enjoying the entire ambiance that a fast food court can provide.

Next step for me is to the parking lot until I am reminded that we have not Shopped the other half of the mall.  OK.  Again, the key word is “Shop” because she has nothing in mind to buy.  But it’s clear that she’s thinking of me because we passed several men’s stores where I was encouraged to visit.  “I don’t need anything,” I said.  Fine, we continue on as before, meandering this way and that while buying nothing.  Finally we leave and I am thankful.  I am most impressed that she had a wonderful Shopping experience even though “they didn’t have anything” she wanted to buy, not that day anyway.  But she has new destinations for future Shopping trips.  There was a purpose to this after all.

Editorial: Curious Accusation by George

While I am reluctant to give recognition to Mr. George Nichols for his opinion piece yesterday, when my integrity is challenged I am obligated to respond to my readers.  Mr. Nichols strongly suggested that my three-page solution to health care reform was actually written by my grandson in Miss Sasso’s third grade class.

Yesterday I visited Miss Sasso at Pearlville Elementary and reviewed the student’s essays on health care reform.  All are one-page essays, which tends to partially vindicate me because my solution was three pages.  Nevertheless, some might say that I could have taken three ideas from one page.  However, Miss Sasso and I could find similarity to only one of my three ideas in the 23 essays we examined.  Most of the students proposed that the government should provide free health care for truly needy patients.  Readers of my August 24 editorial will recall that this was the essence of the third page in my solution.

Some of them limited their list of needy patients to dogs and cats, and others suggested a longer list including hamsters, gerbils, rabbits, frogs, and geckos.  As Miss Sasso explained, the assignment was to write an essay on pet health care reform.  While our Mr. Nichols’ deductive powers are indeed formidable, he would be well advised to consult with an expert before submitting future opinions in a public forum.

My Opinion by George Nichols

Who would have guessed that our illustrious editor would become an expert on health care reform?  In his August 24 editorial, Dr. Dan has demonstrated his ability to reduce a complex subject to a 60-year old comedy routine, which aptly describes our editor himself.  What level of education is required to compress a 1,000-page health care reform bill to 3 pages?  While Dr. Dan is an educated man, his editorial appears to be the work of a child.  As every parent with a child in Miss Sasso’s third grade class knows, last week each student submitted an essay on the subject of health care reform.  And our editor’s grandson is in Miss Sasso’s class.  Must we consult with Sherlock Holmes and Hercule Poirot to reach the conclusion that our learned editor plagiarized his grandson’s essay?  Miss Sasso will not release the essays, so we will never know if there are additional brilliant arguments to add to the health care debate.

George Nichols is a Town Council member and is running for reelection in November.

Editorial: Health Care Forum

August is Health Care Forum Month, as anyone who has a television, radio, or newspaper knows.  Endless interpretations of the Obama administration’s plan for government-run health care have been floated.  With five versions being developed in the House and one in the Senate, the health care debate is reminiscent of Abbott and Costello’s “Who’s on First” routine.  That’s right, What’s on second and Idunno’s on third base.  Average Americans rightly rebel against such nonsense.

Meanwhile, the president claims to want only two things: Coverage for all, and lower costs for all.  Liberals claim that this can only be accomplished by the federal government, and conservatives claim that it can’t be done.  But these two goals are worthy and not mutually exclusive if the government gets out of the way.  Instead of 1,000 pages, a three-page bill would do the job:

Page 1: Allow health insurance companies interstate sales to increase competition and reduce our costs.

Page 2: Allow health insurance premiums to be tax-deductible for all, not just for employers, giving individuals control and lower costs at the same time.

Page 3: Government welfare in the form of health care credits for the small minority of American citizens who are not helped by pages 1 and 2. 

Most Americans believe that our health care system can and should be improved, and we have always been willing to help those in need.  From our elected representatives a true statesman must emerge to lead the way to sensible health care management that gives all citizens freedom and control.  Who is that statesman?  No, he’s on first base.

Editorial

Most Pearlville residents are more interesting than me, which is why I have not been known for editorial comments in the Wiper.  But when in the course of human events something really rings my bell, it’s time to speak up.

Today I learned that the President of the United States is asking his party followers to inform the White House on detractors to his proposed health care legislation.

Quoting from the White House web page, www.whitehouse.gov/blog: “There is a lot of disinformation about health insurance reform out there, spanning from control of personal finances to end of life care.  These rumors often travel just below the surface via chain emails or through casual conversation.  Since we can’t keep track of all of them here at the White House, we’re asking for your help.  If you get an email or see something on the web about health insurance reform that seems fishy, send it to flag@whitehouse.gov.”

So the White House wants it’s minions to inform on citizens who openly disagree with its policies.  Folks, we have not seen government direction like this since Nazi Germany and Soviet Russia.  Today I sent my email to the White House:

Mr. President:

I read the request on the White House website for information leading to people and websites disseminating “disinformation” on your health care reform plan.  What are you going to do with them, send them to San Francisco for re-education?  But you and your people are the primary sources of disinformation on the health care plan.  We have heard your statements from previous years where you made it clear that you are working toward a one-payer program that would result in complete dependence on the federal government and rationing of health care.  This plan is about neither health nor care.  It is all about control of the people.  But it won’t work.  We the People are Americans, not Obamaricans.  So I will save your informers some time and turn myself in by directing you to my website, weeklywiper.wordpress.com.  A copy of this email is posted there, and the website will include future comments appropriate to developing events.

There, I got it off my chest.  I urge all residents and friends of Pearlville to tell the White House what you think about the President’s minions informing on American citizens.